Josh

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 As you grow older you will understand things more. You will understand those cheesy quotes your parents repeated to you, you will understand culture, history and love and hate. It all comes with time, and I understand that now. My name is Mandel. I was born in 1988. I was a “mistake”. I grew up in Ingarnika, a small outback community (Ingarnika actually means, “Very small” translated from Aboriginal. Funnily enough this makes it the perfect name). To be more precise, I grew up in one of Ingarnika’s oldest buildings, the church, semi converted into a safe place for those who needed it, and I did.  “Caitlyn, John has wet the bed in his sleep again. Could you please change his sheets?” “Sarah, I need to go outside for a bit of fresh evening air, okay? I’ll be back shortly, and why can’t you change John’s sheets? I’ve done it a thousand times, it’s your turn.” “Okay...”  Caitlyn stepped out of the large weathered door, feeling the gentle breeze brush against her skin, almost as if to caress her body. Caitlyn slouched against the beautiful masonry wall and quickly reached into her pocket, fidgeting, eventually pulling out just a single cigarette and lighter. She placed the cigarette in between her shapely lips, lighting it at the same time. Caitlyn’s face relaxed and she breathed out heavily, sighing. She knew she was inhaling hundreds of foul chemicals but she didn’t care.  “Caitlyn, are you alright out there?” “Yes, yes, I’m fine, just fine. Oh the air is... Wonderful? Yes, it’s wonderful. I’ll be inside in a minute!”  Caitlyn discarded the cigarette into a nearby shrub, and placed her hand in front of her mouth to check her breath. Just as Caitlyn was about to walk inside the arched doorways, she heard a noise that she had not heard in a long time, she turned wincing at the sight of the newborn encased in rags.  “Look Caitlyn, I really can’t-“  <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Sarah’s eyes widened. She instantly froze in the doorway, her jaw dropped down like an anchor plunging into the ocean. <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Oh my goodness... A baby? How did this... Where...“ <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Oh don’t be silly Caitlyn. That’s not a baby, that’s an ethnic.” <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Caitlyn stood above the sheets, not really sure how to handle the situation. She carefully picked up the baby smothered in old clothes, revealing the babe; gender and all. <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“My, he is quite heavy Sarah, would you like to hold...“ <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Caitlyn! Put that child down. He’s brown; you don’t even know where he came from!” <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">She looked at Sarah incredulously as if she was going to slap her. <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Well you don’t have to touch him.” <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Think about what you’re doing Caitlyn. We don’t even have room.” <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“You should know the Lord accepts all, he can sleep with me. Good riddance Sarah.” <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Caitlyn paced inside and went straight to her bed, leaving Sarah in the archway standing there, still stunned at Caitlyn’s actions. <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I’ve always wanted one of my own. You poor soul. I wonder what happened to you.” <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Caitlyn peered at the baby. He was so helpless, all alone. If she didn’t take care of him, no one else would. His big round brown eyes were staring up at her, just asking for her to hold him. His small hands gripped Caitlyn’s and she knew there was a bond. Holding this newborn gave her tingles down her spine, as if he was meant to find her. <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I think I’ll call you Mandel.” <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">She softly kissed the boy on the cheek and placed him ever so gently onto the old mattress. Caitlyn got down on her knees doing her daily prayers, and slipped into bed thanking God for the greatest gift of all. <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">********************************************************************************** <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif'; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> Months passed, and the years flew by. Mandel was beginning to realise more and more everyday that he was nothing like the other kids. His hair was a mess, all fuzzy and unmanageable with brown thick locks. His complexion matched his unyielding dark brown eyes. His curiosity was getting the better of him.

"Mum can I ask you something?"

Caitlyn peered over the mound of washing that she was sorting out with Mandel. She put her hands to her ears failing to understand what he said with his humble tenor voice.

"Can I ask you something?" Mandel repeated. "Of course, what is it?" <span style="font-family: 'Bodoni MT','serif';">“Why do I look different from everyone else? I don’t even look like you, my own mother.” “Honey please don’t ask me this now, ask me after we do the washing” “I’ve been asking you constantly and you always push me away, I want to know, it’s like you’re hiding something”