Hien

Image:http://www.flickr.com/photos/36521965565@N01/130812811


 * FATHER AND SON**

Ms.Green pointed to the other end of the class.

“An, solve the question on board.” The question was a trigonometric one. It was quite simple but most of the class didn’t get it. They thought it was too fancy and didn’t even give a damn. Only I did. Only the “Asian geek”.

“y = 2tan x”

“Correct” School’s out. As usual, John and I walked down the hall to our lockers. He was the only American I can hang out with, or should I say the only American that wanted to hang out with me.

“It’s Friday night and we have tons of homework. Life sucks!”

“Come to my place tomorrow. I’ll help you out”.

“Great”. As we were talking, we arrived at the lockers. There was something white popping out of my locker door. John thought that was some kind of blackmail letter. Luckily, it wasn’t. John had some reasons for thinking that and I couldn’t blame him. A lot of guys hate me for being such a geek. Getting good grades was considered to be a crime here. How stupid. The letter made me blush after reading it. I never went red about anything except girls. And you surely know what it was about now.

“Way to go, mate,” John cried.

“Shut up, it must be some kind of prank.”

“C’mon, don’t be so suspicious. It’s definitely a love letter from someone, look at the signature”.

“Forget it, I’m not gonna be fooled. I’m going home, see you tomorrow”.

“OK then”

We parted ways. Honestly, the letter was really something to think about. I acted calm and all but I just couldn’t stop wondering who sent it. Was it real or just a prank, like I said? I was two cross-roads away from my house. My family ran a small business, selling Pho. It’s a traditional food of Vietnam in case you don’t know. My dad brought my family here in the 90s. He couldn’t continue university so he had to make a living by selling Pho. I also get teased a lot because I am part of the so-called restaurant food stall. I can’t blame him for that but I hate the way he thinks, he is far too conservative. It is probably because he grew up in such harsh conditions that makes him like that, or maybe it because of grandpa, I didn’t know, I just hate it. I pity my mom though because she has to stand between my dad and me to resolve our disagreements. I feel responsible for that somehow, but I just can’t cope with my dad’s thinking, especially when I have to help serve Pho without “wages”.

“Get your homework done by 7 and come down to help me”. This is my dad’s greeting whenever I get home from school.

“Sure, dad”

Most of the kids at my school help their fathers out by wasting money on fancy sport cars, I didn’t complain about my job here because I realized following trends is such a waste of time and I was done with it since primary school. All I wanted to say was that my dad should be more sympathetic to me. I have to go through tons of homework everyday before 7 just to help him run the store and yet, I can’t go out at the weekends. I was preparing work for the next school day, when the white envelope fell out of my Science text book. I had forgotten about the letter. I couldn’t believe some girl had a crush on me and the content took me completely by surprise. It was a girl who studied in the class next door to mine. Her name was Amy and she was an American girl, which was not one of my dad’s best choices. “//P.S// //Meet me in classroom after school// //on Monday”.// That was what she had written at the end of the letter. My dad was prejudiced against Americans. He didn’t even want to order anything with the phrase “American” in it when we went out for coffee. But, the main point here was he didn’t like American girls, either. He thought they were too compliant and easy-going. He was afraid we, as in that girl and me, would go too far so he forbade me to date any non-Asian girl. How lame is that? “What was that white thing, An?” he asked as he suddenly opened the door.

“You mean this?”

“What else?”

“Um…well… It was just a letter from Ms.Green”

“And why did she give it to you?”

That was it. I was in a corner. I had to make up a reason.

“She wanted me to take part in a Math Comp”

“Great, that’s my boy”, he said then walked away.

I was almost busted. What a relief. I put the letter under my bed to make sure he didn’t have another chance to take a look at it. I couldn’t sleep that night until 12 maybe, wondering if it was a prank because I didn’t think it was possible for someone to like me. Time flew so fast that I felt I didn’t get any days off. It was already Monday before I realized it. However, there was something pulling me out of bed earlier that morning, maybe it was because of the letter. I could hear John’s wake-up call miles away. We walked to school everyday. I guess that’s what made us so close. As I ran downstairs, I saw dad was lying on the desk. There were payment papers and monthly expenses all over the place. He must have had sat there all night to make sure the family had enough money to live on. I had not thought about this. I never knew dad had to serve pho by day and sit up all night doing the calculations. It felt as if someone grabbed my heart and squeezed it really hard. I felt ashamed of myself.

“You look weird this morning. Are you ok?” John asked

“Yeah, I just need to get some sleep”, I replied, still not looking at him.

“I just realized how messed up I am”, I continued.

John kept silent on the rest of the way. It seemed he didn’t want to make things worse by mentioning it. As time went by, I was so occupied with the lessons and lab experiments that I forgot about what had happened that morning. My head was filled with quadratic equations, essays and chemistry stuff. There comes a time when a geek also has problems with the work, too. Later that afternoon, I came to the room as told in the letter. Amy was sitting facing the board, waiting for me. My heart had never beaten that fast. I swear I could have blacked out any moment. That would be such a shame, so I had to pull myself together and walked towards her. We barely knew each other. There was one time when I helped her with Art design. We had Art together that day. It was the due date of the portrait. I handed mine first, then I saw Amy struggling with the colouring. I helped her out so that she could make it in time. I guessed that was the only thing connecting us. However, I admit having had some feelings for her.

“Hey”, she said as she was turning around.

“Hi…um… I got the letter you put onto my locker door the other day”.

“And what do you think about that?”

“I think… It was… um… OK”, I replied. I wish I could have spoken more fluently.

“That’s it? OK?”, she was waiting for something more than just “OK”. I can tell by her wondering voice. This was the first time I ever saw her so true, so illuminant. My pulses wanted to explode but all of them came to an ease when I looked into her eyes. I took every piece of courage I had,

“Ha ha… sorry… I hope I can be more calm at times like this. I have some feelings for you, too, but I didn’t dare to say it”.

“That’s very nice of you. I didn’t even thank you for the portrait. So it’s settled? We are practically a couple now?”, she asked.

I never dreamt of dating a cheerleader. Do you know how hard it is for a guy, especially a guy like me, to be with such a girl? I think I’m the first one to achieve that goal.

“Yeah, why not?”, I answered.

“Great, see you tomorrow. I’ll call you tonight”, she walked away with a smile on her face.

I stood there for a moment. I was six feet off the ground. Then, the thought of dad brought me back to reality. I knew he wouldn’t like this if he found out. What should I do? I can listen to him lecturing me then go on hunger-strike for a month to show my disagreement or maybe I can say goodbye to Amy, end a promising relationship before it even starts. As I was walking down the street, thoughts were running through my head. Every step I took seemed heavier. I didn’t want to go home that day, I didn’t want to face the ugly truth. All I wanted at that moment was to be with Amy. But, I knew I would be locked out either way if I didn’t come home. Damn. Everything turned bad in just a second.

“Why are you home so late today?”, dad “interrogated” me, “It’s almost 7 already”. “Um… I was at school… practicing for the Math Comp”

“What do you say about this?”, he took out the letter from his left pocket and threw it to me.

I was caught in the act, just like a slap in the face.

“It was someone from my school, she’s really into me now”. I didn’t have the guts to look at him in the eyes. I was standing there with my head facing down.

“How can you even think of dating an American girl? Especially if she is a cheerleader. You know I hate those girls. They want to date pretty boys. They won’t even bother looking at you, I know that. They are just good at dancing and showing off. Do you think you can feed your family by going out with those kind of people. They are Americans, they are different. She will leave you once she feels you’re no use to her anymore”, he stopped for a moment. Then, he continued…

“Do you think she really likes you? Or she just wants to use you because you have high marks at school?”, he said as if he was splashing a cold bucket of water into me. He had never said such things to me before. The last thing I wanted to hear was that. To make things worse, mom called out to me, saying there was some girl on the line. It was Amy. She said she would call me that night.

“Enough of this”, my dad slammed the phone onto the floor.

Everything was out of control. I couldn’t stand his yelling anymore. I had had enough, too. My face went red, I didn’t want to hear someone saying bad things about Amy, not even my dad. I stood up to him.

“Get your nose out of my life, dad!”, I shouted, “Why don’t you come downstairs and get back to making money like you always want to, huh? Why am I the only one to bare your old thoughts while I had try everything to satisfy you? I got good grades, I helped you run the store, what else do you want from me?”

“She will leave you eventually, be true to yourself for once”, he replied but in an advisory way.

“I don’t care. Let it be then. She is something I couldn’t take for granted. She appreciates this relationship, so do I. Just do you know, I AM being true to myself for once. Leave me alone”.

I finished what I needed to say and walked into my room. I caught my breath. It actually feels good to speak your mind after all the things I’ve been through. Nevertheless, I felt a bit of guilty because I touched his pain. He worked day and night to get me everything I need, but, I told him to back off. I let the anger get the best of me. There was no going back, I just couldn’t come downstairs and say sorry anymore, not at this moment, at least. I wanted to call Amy to apologize for not having answered the phone. I bet she was freaking scared because she was expecting a “hello” but she got a “BANG” from my dad instead. I considered the situation and I knew it wouldn’t be good to phone her right after the fight. I was so tired and frustrated. I wish dad could blend in with the modern life more quickly so that I could hang out with John, or Amy. Damn it! I needed some positive energy. The whole day wore me down so badly that I slept right away when I laid down. I turned on the radio with //Let It Be// playing. I didn’t know that it was that good. It was just one sentence repeating over again, but at that time, all I wanted to hear was that sole sentence. Everything went black after that.

The thing I got next morning when I woke up was a headache. That should be perfect to kick off a new day. The fight was still on my mind no matter how hard I tried to forget it. I wanted to fill my mind with something else better, something could make me feel peaceful and easy, something like Amy. I remembered what she looked like when we were in her classroom, it was her beauty that overthrew me. Thinking about her made me less stressed, just like a ray of hope glowing in the middle of the dark night. She made my day. The classes seemed so long that day, but there was one thing comforting me: Amy and I had Art together.

“What happened yesterday?”, she asked as she was giving me a suspicious look.

“I had a fight with my dad”.

“Oh God, are you OK?”

“I’m still in one piece so I guess I’m fine”.

“What was that about?”, she was concerned, “Was it because of me?”

“Yeah, sort of. He has some issues with catching up these days”, I saw some disappointment, along with the sadness on her face. I continued,

“Don’t give up on me, I’ll find a way”, I said it so easily as if I had already known how to solved it.

“OK, hope things will turn out alright”.

I had another long walk home after school was out. It was a bit of chilly outside. Being alone is one of my hobbies. I can figure out tons of resolutions if I’m alone. However, my head was blank while I was heading home. I could think of nothing. As I opened the front door, dad was already sitting there, waiting for me. Crap!

“Sit down, I have to talk to you”.

“What is it, dad?”

“I’ve thought a lot about last night”, he sighed, “You were right. You had done anything that a father like me could ask for. You deserved more sympathy from me but I was so occupied with this busy life that I forgot how far behind I was”.

“Thanks dad, I’m glad you understand now. I must say sorry, too. You did your best to make our life safe and I said such bad words to you, I’m sorry”.

He smiled and gave me a hug, which was weird. He had never done that to me. I felt kinda unpleasant because we are guys, and guys don’t hug. Anyway, way to go dad, you’re blending in. Things went well all of a sudden. Amy called me on the phone.

“Hi”, she said.

“Hey”.

“How’re things between you and your dad?”

“Everything is settled, don’t worry”.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep, wanna go out this Sat? I’ve got a day off from now on”

“Ha ha ok, sure. Good night”

I went to bed early that night. I couldn’t tell what else life would throw at me next but getting dad to let me go out with Amy had been the best thing so far. I couldn’t believe things happened so fast. I slowly closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment before it slipped away. It was so peaceful. There was nothing else but gladness.