Phoenix

**THE MISSING CALLS**
** PHOENIX HO ** It had been raining for a whole week. The foggy rainfall covered the glass of my window and I can feel the piercingly coldness of the winter rain. The sound of strong wind blew leaves dropped down to my yard. Another day as usual, I wrapped myself in a woollen blanket. [My message ringtone]. But especially by today I received an SMS instead of a call. It is him. The person that I recommended as special to me, to my life. As I clicked the INBOX messageThe message said: “See you today in front of the school gate, shall we grab a cup of coffee? I ended up dragging myself out of the woollen blanket and got ready for school. Considering myself in front of the closet, surely I would be a very thick jacket as I can tell by looking through my window. I walked down the hallway. My eyes was always browsing for him. He should have been in class. As the class started already half an hour, he walks in. My heart beats faster by seconds every time I see him. As I can’t speak words. He sat right next to me smiling amorously. But things screwed up since he came up with me and asked me to be his girl. I was totally out of control that time and no one could imagine how I could react But until I realized, he came and introduced me to his girl. “Hey Tasha, this is my friend Jenny”. He speaks with confidence I said hi to the girl but seems my heart can’t let me stay for long, I walked away quietly.Shedding my tears and all in me is a broken heart. I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I’ve never felt before that cut me into pieces. From that day, I hide myself wouldn’t let me seeing him. I changed my phone number, even moved to another school. I promise myself not to fall apart, living in a peaceful moment of life. I won’t cry. It doesn’t worth for me to shed that many tears. As I found myself my own truth love, the best guy in the whole wide world, he would do anything for me. He’s strong and protective. We shared stories every time we feel bad. My life now is calm and peaceful; I enjoy living my life with him, spending time with my family. But even that doesn’t help when I met Tasha. We grabbed coffees as we sat down and talked for a while. I found that Tasha is a beautiful friendly girl and the calmest girl that I’ve ever met. We talked about random stuff and back to the main topic. I slightly open my word asking for him. But then I stopped myself. She finally said “Have you met Nick these days? I guess you guys are cute couple” With a shock in my eyes I finally speak up “No? I thought you were his girlfriend?” As her eyes rolled up to me, supprising. I can’t even say a word. We finally finished the conversation and walked out to the door. I waved back to her with my awkward smile and walked away. Inside me now, everything seemed to be the last day of earth. I trooped down the street, walked along the street that he and I used to walked from school to home, I thought back to the day his first impressed me, the day he smiled back, the day I cried in the rain. Everything happened in a click, a second a tick. Now I’ve misunderstood someone that I used to like, someone that I love, It would be never bring me back in time, which I’d be able to say sorry, even to speak up a word for the last chance. I heard a loudness voice coming across the road as I keep walking, I can’t see anything right now. All is my head is screwed up. As I can think about is him. But The last thing I saw was a A truck coming fast toward me, As I can feel myself pushed with someone’s hands, the warmness from that hands felt familiar. It’s him He dashes himself to safe me. I rolled to the sideway. I lied with my eyes closed, I can hardly breath but til I opened my eyes. I barely touched his hands. He was lying next to me, his eyes closed, blood over to his face. Holding his hands for the last minute my tears dropped down. I cried and cried, but would he ever awake? Would he ever hear me again? Or even let me say that I’m regretting. I want him, Heaven just don’t let him leave me. I found myself walking to his funeral. I hold up his diary opened the first entry : “Day one , I want her; I don’t want to be just friends but seemed she’d never realized how much she meant to me.... Day two, I lied for goods, as I introduced a girl to her, I just want to see if she would responsed to me, or even be jealous. But well she WASN’T. She doesn’t like me.” The diary keep mentioning about how much he loves me, how much he’s regretting not telling me how he feels. That’s why we ended up this way. As much as I cried out in pain but I knew that no one is going to hear me cry. I desperately began to gasp for air. My heart was aching again and I couldn’t breathe. Sadly, my parents wouldn't allow me to go to his wake. I mourned quietly inside my room. There even came a point where I convinced myself that he wasn't dead. I sat down at my piano**,** stripping my fingers along the piano to playing what I called ‘ Moonlight Resonance’. The song that kept me alive. FeeIing every notes of melody, imagined as sinking on the stage with audiences clapping along the music. I pulled myself to the atmosphere and stay focused, I can see there’d be people watching me every single mistakes I made, following to the latest melodies. I picked up the microphone loudly saying this song I want to dedicate to the person that I marked to be important to me, and my life. Soon my voice gets even louder and louder. I could hardly see his soul still sitting next to me, I can feel his breathe. I can see his guiding me along every single note on the piano. The song we used to play and he taught me in music class. I dreamt last night, I saw his hands reaching for me and speak quietly that he wants me, he misses me but, he vanished before my eyes. I woke up crying. After this accident, I finally began to accept his death. And whenever I’m depressed I feel his presence beside me I know somehow out there he’s still waiting patiently for me. 